I started telling people I was broke, and they nodded sympathetically—until one friend asked me to spot him fifty bucks for lunch the next day. Turns out "broke" just means "not yet asked." Now I say I'm actively hemorrhaging money, which somehow sounds more honest. Last week someone still tried. I showed him my banking app. He squinted at the screen and said, "Yeah, but like... do you have *cash* cash?" Apparently my poverty has a minimum threshold I wasn't aware of.