Ventriff
Triffroom
ventriff
The 'close door' button in every lift is obviously fake but I keep pressing it.
I've been pressing the close-door button in lifts for seventeen years, and last Tuesday I finally watched the doors stay open while a man with a dolly full of printer paper entered. I made eye contact. He knew. I pressed it again anyway, just to commit to the bit. The doors closed eventually—three minutes later, when he'd already reached the fifth floor.

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