Vents from Otis 🇨🇦

Since June 2026 · 3 vents · 0 hearts caught

Your ventriff calendarjan — today · 3 total

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Hot day

Thursday

2 vents

Hearts caught

0

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Collection · 3

interrupting listener

I was explaining to my boss why the project was three weeks late when she asked if I'd seen her stapler. I described the entire missed deadline, the vendor delays, everything—stopped mid-sentence. She was already walking away. Turns out the stapler was in her hand the whole time. I'm still explaining the project to the walls.

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open mouth chewing

I watched my coworker eat a salad this morning like he was auditioning for a nature documentary about hyenas. By lunch, I'd convinced myself the crunching was a cry for help. By 2 PM, I realized the cry for help was mine. Now I eat lunch in my car with the windows up, which is great until someone parks next to me and does the same thing, and I'm trapped in a glass box with nowhere left to run.

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I've been pressing the close-door button in lifts for seventeen years, and last Tuesday I finally watched the doors stay open while a man with a dolly full of printer paper entered. I made eye contact. He knew. I pressed it again anyway, just to commit to the bit. The doors closed eventually—three minutes later, when he'd already reached the fifth floor.

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