My colleague has convinced himself that his unconscious humming is a form of meditation. I've tried to politely mention it seventeen times. Last Tuesday I asked him directly: "Does the humming help you concentrate?" He said yes. I said nothing for three seconds, then hummed the entire chorus of "Wonderwall" back at him. He hasn't hummed since, but now he just does this thing where he taps his pen against his teeth instead. I'm pretty sure I've created a monster that simply evolved.